


The Choice

by Hinalilly



Series: Hina's Cheesy Rinharu Week Oneshots [4]
Category: Free!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Angels, I reached out, Implied/Referenced Character Death, It's My Turn, M/M, Rinharu Week, you took my hand
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-23
Updated: 2014-11-23
Packaged: 2018-02-26 18:31:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,681
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2662109
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hinalilly/pseuds/Hinalilly
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In order to fulfill his dream, Rin must pass one final test. However, he would soon find that there was probably more he would lose than he would gain from it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Choice

**Author's Note:**

> Part 4 of Hina's "screw this, I want use all the prompts so I'm gonna DO IT" Rinharu Week oneshot series!
> 
> This particular AU holds a pretty special place in my heart, because it's _technically_ a crossover: the story is set in the universe of an original story of mine (no OCs show up, though). I still hold it very close to my heart, so I'm really, really happy to have the chance to use it for a Rinharu fic, of all things. I hope you all enjoy it!
> 
>  **DISCLAIMER NUMBER ONE:** I was debating myself over whether to put this here or in the end notes (or if it was really necessary at all), because I didn't want to color anyone's perception of it before they started reading, but I'm gonna put it here anyway just in case. There's a little paragraph in which Rin goes over Haru's relationships and makes a small comment on each one of them. Absolutely _none_ of it is meant in a derisive way, **tl;dr** no ship bashing intended. I'm pretty sure it doesn't come across like that anyway, but you know, JUST IN CASE...
> 
>  **DISCLAIMER NUMBER TWO:** READ THE TAGS. Draw your own conclusions. Enjoy!

 

The day was finally here. After years of studying, training, and observing from afar, Rin was ready to begin his final test. This was what he had been waiting for, the chance to prove himself and make his dream come true at last. After wishing for it, working hard for it for so long, the day on which he’d finally take his first step towards his goal had finally arrived. And that wasn’t even the best part. Because of the nature of Rin’s test, today was the day he was going to (re)visit the human world for the very first time. It was undoubtedly the most important day in his entire life as an angel, probably of his entire _existence_ , even, and Rin had been preparing for it long enough that he was certain everything was going to be perfect. He’d definitely succeed, and finally accomplish his dream of becoming a full-fledged, officially recognized cupid.

There were some who had asked him to reconsider, arguing that with Rin’s knack for hard-work and the ease with which he could assimilate new information, he would be much well-suited for other more demanding, complex positions. But Rin had always been in love with love, and he was certain that this was the right path for him. The whole idea was absolutely appealing to him: watching people, learning all about them, finding their perfect match, and _then_ doing everything in the book to make them cross paths with each other. He knew all the tricks and the clichés (clichés _worked_ , no matter how much humans made fun of them), and he was quick-witted enough to come up with absolutely infallible plans that would carefully lead the two people of his choosing to inevitably fall in love with each other—the rest was just a matter of firing an arrow at the right time. It was a flawless choice, and a path that Rin was certain he was meant for. There was no way it could ever go wrong.

 

The first sign of impending doom came when Rin monumentally messed up his entry.

He was certain that his runes had been perfect, that his energy input had been exact, that he’d visualized the right place and the right time. But something, whatever it was (it just _had_ to be an external force of some sort, because Rin was absolutely _sure_ he had done everything right), had messed up the delicate balance of the gateway, and Rin found himself falling into the human realm gracelessly—and headfirst on top of his appointed target.

Considering they existed on different planes, there was thankfully no physical damage done to the subject of his test, as Rin phased right through him on his way to the ground.

That didn’t mean that absolutely _no_ damage had been done. Quite the contrary.

The blue-eyed boy stood up from his squatting position under a cherry blossom tree with a violent shiver, turning around left and right in alarm. He seemed confused to see nobody near, and though his posture relaxed shortly afterwards, it was clear that he was still on alert, that he was certain the presence he had felt had not been a product of his imagination.

Rin, on the other hand, had his back pressed against the cherry blossom tree, an expression of utter horror on his face. Not only had he messed up the “keep a relatively safe distance” (when possible—guardian angels got more free rein on this) rule right from the get go, but also his target, Nanase Haruka, had definitely _felt_ something. Not just a light breeze or a chill like most humans did whenever this sort of accident happened. Nanase Haruka had felt a _presence_ —not just something, but some _one_.

Rin gulped.

As soon as Nanase squatted back to the ground to keep gathering cherry blossom petals, Rin took his chance to move away, tiptoeing his way around him.

And again, as if on cue, Nanase lifted his eyes from the ground, turning to look around as if he’d noticed, and Rin suddenly felt like crying. He was certain this couldn’t have been worse if he’d planned it as such.

Unfortunately, it seemed like it actually _could_ get worse, because Nanase stood up again, the flower petals forgotten, and his eyes were _clearly_ pointed towards to the very place where Rin was currently standing (and trying to hold back his tears) at, looking undoubtedly concerned, slightly worried, but most of all absolutely certain that there was someone there in front of him.

If there was one thing that Rin wasn’t very good at, it was controlling his emotions. He’d never given it much thought, and he hadn’t trained very hard at suppressing them, either. Unlike judges and, to a certain extent, messengers, the position that Rin sought as a cupid meant he was better off keeping a healthy connection with his feelings, which could work as a powerful tool to help him accomplish his job.

But now, on this day of all days, standing face to face-that-shouldn’t-be-visible-but-was-apparently-noticed-anyway with the subject of his final test, Rin wish he had memorized at least some sort of barrier runes that could cut his feelings off temporarily—not for his own sake, but because of the one in front of him.

Of all things, Rin just _had_ to have accidentally come in contact with an _empath_. There was no room for doubt: Rin’s panic and the tears gathering at the corner of his eyes had most likely cued Nanase in on his position, and worse yet, had probably confirmed his invisible presence under the cherry blossom tree. This was just awful—there was no telling how much Nanase could feel, as empaths were a pretty rare occurrence, and Rin had obviously no experience dealing with one, save for the theoretical information he had gathered throughout his training. (The extent of an empath’s sensorial powers was dependent on way too many factors to be measured accurately at a first glance: age, experience, culture, belief systems, their own prejudice and preconceptions, moods, spiritual affinity, the amount and degree of past contact with supernatural energies, etcetera; the list went on and on, and it all played a part in how much or how little they were able to pick up on.) If he wasn’t careful, there was no way he was going to be able to salvage this situation without some serious damage control.

Nanase suddenly tried to reach out in his direction, and Rin stepped back with a squeak.

“Who’s there?” he asked, and Rin covered his mouth with his hands to avoid any more slip ups. “It’s okay,” Nanase continued, taking a step forward and stretching his hand out a little more, “I won’t hurt you.” Rin felt tempted to point out that he couldn’t be hurt by a human, anyway, but he managed to stay silent. “… I’ll just take some and leave.”

It took Rin a moment to figure out exactly what Nanase meant by those words, and when realization hit him, he couldn’t hold back his indignant reply.

“That’s—I’m not some weak _tree_ spirit! I’m an _angel!_ _”_ he yelled, offended, and it wasn’t until he registered Nanase’s blue eyes fixed right on his current position, looking even more shocked than before, that Rin realized he’d messed up for the second time in the day already.

“… what… ?”

Nanase Haruka couldn’t just feel his presence. It was highly likely that he had just _heard_ him, too, loud and clear, and Rin wanted to slap himself hard on the face. Rin had not just touched him, but _fallen right through_ him. Even if he had not been naturally gifted from birth, the accidental first-hand contact with a high-level entity as an angel, and with such a large portion of their energy, on top of that, had probably spiked Nanase’s perception beyond normal levels.

This test was starting to turn out rather catastrophically, to say the least. Rin could probably say goodbye to passing with honors now.

He had to do something. Nanase Haruka being an empath wasn’t something that Rin could have been prepared for (he’d read the information he’d gotten on him in advance over and over again, and there was nothing about it in there), so it was highly likely that such an unexpected occurrence would be taken into consideration when the time for Rin’s evaluation came. He could probably still salvage the situation. Besides, he figured, well, instead of spending most of his time being paranoid over whether Nanase was aware of his presence or not, he could just as well take advantage of this little setback and come clean about it to him. Angels shouldn’t lie, after all.

Rin took a few steps towards him, and Nanase immediately straightened up, eyes still wide and looking ready to bolt at any given moment.

“It’s okay—I won’t hurt you,” he said, mimicking Nanase’s earlier words with a smile, and from the way the boy squinted, it seemed like Nanase couldn’t listen to him all too clearly—Rin guessed it might have been the outburst, the heightened emotions that had conveyed his voice so fully to him earlier. Clearing his throat, Rin tried to speak a bit more loudly, doing his best to stay calm and not to accidentally seep his nervousness towards Nanase as well. Him actually running away was something Rin would like to avoid, if possible “I’m here on a mission—a test, really, so I’m gonna hang around you for a while, okay? You don’t have to do anything, just… stay calm.” Upon noticing the grimace on Nanase’s face, Rin frowned, pouting a little. “And don’t you _dare_ try to exorcise me! It’s not going to work!”

Nanase stared in Rin’s direction for a while, before turning back to the cherry blossom petals with a huff, gathering a few more in silence.

“I’m not interested,” he muttered, getting up once he was finished and walking away without another glance back, making Rin scramble to follow him, hurrying to match Nanase’s pace until he was floating leisurely beside him. Nanase walked in silence, the petals carefully tucked into a small bag, and Rin floated at his side, scrutinizing him, trying to get started at last with his task. It was just like his information had said; a 12-year-old, quiet for his age, highly independent, short on words more often than not—“… stop following me,” Nanase complained suddenly, snapping Rin out of his train of thought and making a random passerby turn to stare at him in confusion.

“I said I have to hang around you for a while!” Rin shot back, and Nanase winced a little, turning his head to the side. He seemed to be trying hard to ignore what he was hearing, and Rin had to wonder if he had had any other supernatural encounters in the recent past. Rin smiled at him, extending his hand out towards him in a friendly gesture, even if Nanase couldn’t take it. “Come on, I’m sure we can get along! What do you say?”

After a short while of silence, Nanase sighed, looking around to make sure nobody was near before he whispered firmly in Rin’s direction. “… find someone else.”

Rin gritted his teeth, letting out his frustrations with a huff. Find someone else, yes, that was _exactly_ was he was going to do.

That was what his test was all about, after all.

 

* * *

 

If that short walk back to Nanase’s house hadn’t been enough proof, the next few days that Rin spent hovering around him had spelled the final verdict on Rin’s future.

There was absolutely _no way_ he was going to be able to pass his test.

It was absolutely irritating to watch Nanase interact with his peers, going to and from school wearing the same impassive face all day, barely bothering to interact with anyone, being unwilling to do anything for anyone else and acting like he’d been personally aggravated when he did, always thinking about himself, leaving others to deal with his problems, running away to the swimming pool, preferring to spend his after school hours swimming rather than building healthy social relationships instead—

Nanase Haruka was the worst possible target in the history of cupid qualifying examinations. Finding a suitable match for him was absolutely and completely _impossible_.

And yet, Rin was certain, this particular subject had been appointed to him for a reason. He wouldn’t have been given such a demanding task if it wasn’t possible for him to handle it.

Someone up there had high hopes for him. And Rin wasn’t going to disappoint them.

He was going to find a match for Nanase if it was the last thing he ever did.

(Even if just watching him interact with others for two seconds was enough to deflate Rin’s carefully built-up motivation in record time.)

Given Nanase’s attachment to swimming, and the fact that his social circle was painfully limited, Rin decided to investigate the members of the swim club Nanase attended for possible candidates first.

There was Nanase’s closest neighbor, who seemed to be able to put up with Nanase’s antics rather well, but who unfortunately let Nanase get away with _way_ too much for Rin’s liking. They could probably grow into a healthy relationship if Nanase learned to appreciate his presence and if the boy learned not to keep quiet when something was off but, sadly, without the right amount of motivation, Rin couldn’t see it happening any time in the near future (and Rin didn’t feel like waiting forever in vain). There was this cute, spunky kid who really admired Nanase, never growing tired of approaching him, even when faced with Nanase’s lack of replies, and who always seemed to be happy and ready to offer a smile. Nanase didn’t seem very keen on the constant nagging, but on rare occasions he also didn’t seem very keen on letting the boy down, either. Rin could definitely see a potentially important bond there, but he was also not convinced that it was the kind of bond he was currently looking for. There was this one girl, always watching Nanase with a fond smile, sometimes managing to strike a short conversation with him, and Rin might have found the answer to his prayers in her if Nanase had given any indication of registering her existence. Unfortunately, even with a cupid’s intervention, Nanase didn’t seem like he would ever return her feelings and, while the girl’s interest was promising, she didn’t seem like the kind of person who could make a significant difference in his life, either.

Every new day was a new disappointment, and Rin was starting to lose hope.

And the fact that Nanase seemed not only completely uninterested in any sort of romantic relationship, but was also _so_ eager to get rid of him certainly did nothing to help his mood, either.

He hadn’t been by Nanase’s side for more than a few weeks, but the boy had been vehemently against his presence from the beginning. He kept purposefully doing things that (he thought) would hopefully work to annoy Rin: he played loud, angry music, lit scented candles of the most clashing aromas all at once, grilled fish pretty much 24/7 (sadly, Rin later learned that this had nothing to do with him in particular, but was just an annoying habit of Nanase’s that came with the package), hid in his tub hoping Rin wouldn’t be able to follow him there (which Rin didn’t, naturally), borrowed occult books from the library and drew dangerous-looking pentagrams in red crayon, sticking them all over the house (now, this _did_ make Rin scared for Nanase’s soul for a moment there, but he made certain to take everything down, and then cast some basic protective spells around him and his house just in case, as well), he burned leaves and paper and anything that would produce heavy smoke, all in hopes that Rin would eventually leave. Rin coughed and gritted his teeth and stood firm, angrily chiding Nanase for being so childish, and making sure to follow him even more closely after that. Surely, such a stubborn, weird, mean person wasn’t the type that anyone would _ever_ fall in love with—things were bad as they were, but Rin was starting to think he would spend his entire life trying to pass this test.

If only he could settle for a more shallow bond… but no, Rin wasn’t going to be satisfied with that.

And Nanase insisted there was nobody he liked in that way. (Rin often wondered if Nanase even _knew_ what love was.)

“I said, exorcisms won’t work,” Rin sighed, as he watched Nanase fetch the lighter for what was probably the tenth time in the week, “I’m not technically haunting you, so you can’t—”

“It’s not for you,” Nanase mumbled angrily, moving to another room of the house without sparing Rin a second glance. Hey, with all the burning, he couldn’t be blamed for making assumptions.

Rin sighed again, hoping Nanase’s soul wasn’t in any particular danger this time around, and followed him.

 

Nanase had a lot of awfully negative points, but he did have some merits, too. One of which was how respectful he was with spirits (Rin seemed to be the exception that proved the rule).

The other was how well he seemed to deal with living mostly alone, even though Rin had the feeling it wasn’t particularly pleasant for him. He could easily take a wild guess as to why.

Rin watched from a respectful distance as Nanase lit some incense on his grandmother’s altar, and he took care not to listen in to Nanase’s prayers when he saw him close his eyes.

“… can I ask you a question?” Nanase spoke so quietly that Rin almost missed it, and he had to take a few moments to confirm that, yes, Nanase had indeed addressed him.

It didn’t take him as long to figure out exactly what it was that Nanase wanted to ask, though.

“I’m not allowed to say,” he mumbled in reply, and Nanase didn’t speak up again. But, as he continued to watch him praying silently in front of the altar, Rin couldn’t help the gentle smile that found the way onto his face. Surely Nanase must have noticed it too, with the sharp perception he’d developed lately, the presence of the old lady watching over him, never too close and never too far, but always near. Perhaps it was simply because she had been with him for so long, because her presence was such a constant around him, that Nanase felt the need to confirm it. “But…,” Rin started, instantly getting Nanase’s attention, and choosing his words carefully to reassure him without breaking any rules, “I’m sure you won’t be needing a guardian angel assigned to you any time soon.”

Nanase went quiet for a moment, wordlessly staring from Rin to his grandmother’s picture, and Rin could’ve sworn that, for a brief second, there was a faint shimmer in his eyes.

Nanase stood suddenly, moving out of the room quickly and, if Rin knew him well-enough by now to guess (which he was pretty sure he did), was likely headed straight to the bath to soak in the water for a few moments of internal reflection.

“… I just wanted to ask how you died,” he said quietly as he walked away, and Rin didn’t follow him.

 

* * *

 

Rin was utterly disappointed to find that his thorough investigation of Nanase’s surroundings even _outside_ of the swim club did nothing but producing the exact same disappointing results as before. No matter where he looked, nobody seemed to be a good match: one person was too old, or too young, or too tall, or too short, or too slow at freestyle (this was important—really) to be suitable. There was one kid that didn’t bathe often enough. One who was allergic to chlorine (also important), and one that was allergic to _fish_ (… just no). There was one girl who had cried upon seeing Nanase’s sketches of some imaginary mascot he’d drawn in class. There were double-faced kids who pretended to be nice and then talked really harshly behind Nanase’s back (they were lucky Rin was an angel and couldn’t jinx them). Others who thought swimming was a waste of time (seriously?). A kid who thought mermaids were ugly. A boy who hated cats. Another who didn’t care about anything but his plans for university and his family’s business. There were kids who were too focused on fashion, kids who didn’t like mayonnaise, kids who didn’t believe in spirits (Rin crossed their names out a few times on his mental list for good measure), kids who were too shallow and kids who were too clingy. It was incredibly disappointing, and Rin didn’t know why it was so difficult to find someone suitable enough. He had long since given up on ever finding the perfect match (goodbye to any honors _and_ a perfect score, which he could live without as long as he could at least pass at all), but no matter where he went there just seemed to be _nobody_ in the vicinity who could produce the life-changing impact that Rin was looking for. As annoyed as he was at the whole ordeal, given the difficulty level of this task and the importance of this test, Rin was certainly not going to settle for a half-hearted choice just to be done with it.

But, no matter how much he investigated or how closely he watched Nanase and his surroundings, he never seemed to find anyone that seemed good enough.

He just couldn’t understand _why_ it was so hard. Nanase had a whole lot of flaws. It shouldn’t be this difficult to find someone who could better him, who could point him towards who and what he was meant to be. He’d never expected the search to take this long—Rin wasn’t worried about what came after that, anyway.

Sure, Nanase was flawed and weird, but it wouldn’t take much for someone to come to love him. He wasn’t a bad person. Nanase didn’t mind taking care of the chores on top of doing his homework and his club activities, he fed his precious mackerel to the neighborhood cats, he didn’t cry when there were blackouts and he kept his calm during a heavy storm. He didn’t tell his parents that he was lonely (Rin wasn’t certain if this was a good _or_ a bad point, really), he didn’t like to impose on others and he hated being looked after. He could be blunt and harsh at times, but even without having his parents around all the time, he had grown into a relatively responsible boy. He didn’t make fun of spirits. He was the best swimmer Rin had ever seen in his entire life _or_ his afterlife, and it wouldn’t have surprised Rin if he did end up having a little bit of a mermaid’s spirit in him, after all. He didn’t like hurting others, or making others worried about him. He talked in his sleep. He had a vivid imagination and a strange sense of humor. He was gentle and careful, and fragile objects were safe in his hands. He was observant, watching people with almost the same zeal as Rin himself. As much as he complained, he’d never really tried anything that might have possibly had a chance of effectively sending Rin away. He pretended that he didn’t care about anything but, the truth was, he was capable of caring, and caring quite a lot, when it mattered.

There was an underlying loneliness behind Nanase’s blunt retorts and his rotund denials, a hidden sadness behind his stone façade. He was determined and stubborn. He looked like he was warm. There was a definite path ahead of him, and Rin wanted nothing more than to do his part in helping him get there.

Nanase seemed to believe he was haunted by an ever-present darkness, but whenever Rin looked at him he could see nothing but the brightest light.

And Rin was slowly beginning to realize that he was never going to be able to find someone good enough for him.

 

* * *

 

“I’m pretty sure I drowned,” Rin said out of the blue one night, right after Haru had settled on his bed, his room dark and tranquil. “We’re not really supposed to remember,” Rin explained in a matter-of-factly way, swinging his legs in the air as he sat on the corner of Haru’s bed, even if he hadn’t been asked for any clarifications, “but my dad drowned, and his dad drowned, and his dad’s dad drowned, too, so I guess it was the same for me.”

Haru didn’t say anything. He didn’t complain about Rin talking too much, nor about him floating too close for comfort, nor about him hanging around in his room at night anymore. He still insisted that there was nobody he liked, but he rarely complained about Rin trying to get him to talk to other people anymore, either. He simply sat up slowly, staring at his legs still covered by the sheets.

“You couldn’t swim?” he asked quietly, almost as carefully and warily as if he had been asking the most personal question in the world. Rin laughed instead, startling him.

“Of course I could swim!” he said proudly, crossing his arms over his chest and puffing up a little. “I was going to be an Olympic swimmer, you know!” Rin cracked an eye open slowly, just to check Haru’s reaction to his statement, but Haru’s eyes had already gone back to the bed sheets, picking them a little with his fingers. (That was a little disappointing, to say the least. Rin would’ve been lying if he said the lack of reaction hadn’t hurt a bit.)

“… can you swim now?” Haru asked again, a little louder than before, and the way in which his voice wavered a little made Rin giggle. It didn’t really matter anymore; Haru didn’t have to be so careful with his words, but Rin appreciated the effort. He did know how much swimming meant to him, after all.

“Hmm, well,” he began, making sure to keep a smile on his face so Haru wouldn’t feel any worse about his questions (even if Haru couldn’t see him, Rin could feel him watching him intently again, and it was automatic), “not here, I can’t. But once I get back home I can swim all I want!” Again, Rin didn’t get the reaction he had been expecting. Instead of being surprised, or becoming interested, or going on a spree of curious questions about angels that Rin couldn’t answer without breaking at least a hundred rules, Haru seemed evidently disappointed by his reply. He kept mindlessly picking at his sheets, almost as if trying to say something without having to say it, and Rin couldn’t help laughing again. “Aw, don’t worry! We’ll swim together one day, you’ll see!”

His laughter died out when he felt Haru’s fingers brushing against his cheek.

The touch, though with slight resistance, still passed through, as if through a thick, dense mist, and Haru looked visibly disappointed again.

Haru went back to sleep as if nothing had happened, as calm as usual, looking small and peaceful all huddled up in the blankets as he was. Rin wished he could tuck him in a little better. He wished he had a way to magically make Haru’s house not be empty when he came back from the swim club, that he could make it so Haru didn’t have to have dinner alone more often than not, that he could find a way so that Haru had a little more company than just a few stray cats and two spirits roaming around his house.

“Haru-chan likes you a lot,” the old woman said to him.

There was a single strand of hair hanging over Haru’s closed eyelid, and Rin suddenly wished he could brush it away.

He couldn’t keep his eyes away from him all night.

 

* * *

 

Rin went back to his task with renewed vigor as soon as the sun rose, dead set on finding Haru’s match at long last, even if he had to go through the entire Tottori prefecture, or the whole of Japan, even, in order to find them. He knew better than anyone that his makeshift living arrangements at Haru’s were only temporary, and that the only reason why he had stayed for so long was because completing his test had taken him much longer than expected. But Rin couldn’t stay forever; he had a mission, and he couldn’t keep stalling if he wanted to fulfill his dream at last.

Rin was determined, yes, but that didn’t make his search any easier. Days went by, weeks went by, but no matter where he went or who he watched, nothing changed at all. There always seemed to be something missing. It wasn’t just a matter of not being able to spot a life-changing bond anymore; Rin was immediately put off by the smallest things, from someone’s eye color to the length of their pinky finger, from the pitch of their voice to the way in which they stepped first with their left foot instead of the right.

But the problem wasn’t the people he was watching, nor Haru’s weird quirks. None of that really mattered anymore.

Rin knew _exactly_ what the problem was.

It wasn’t that none of those people could make Haru happy. Maybe one or two of them probably could. Rin wasn’t sure anymore.

The problem was that Rin had become much too protective of Haru to keep looking objectively. He didn’t want to find Haru’s perfect match anymore.

Rin wanted to _be_ it.

He knew it was silly, he knew that the very thought of picking himself was a ridiculous notion. He wasn’t even alive in the first place. But he couldn’t help it; he knew he could make Haru happy—he was certain he was already doing so. Even if he was nothing more but a ghostly presence by his side, Rin always considered it a personal success when Haru showed signs of becoming friendlier, when he gradually began paying more attention to the people around him, when he caught him smiling to himself while grilling his favorite meal from time to time. He knew that Haru enjoyed his company, and Rin wanted to stay by his side.

He couldn’t believe that he had been stupid enough to fall in love with his target.

(Perhaps he should’ve paid a little more attention to those emotion-buffering lessons when he still had the chance.)

Rin was at a complete loss. His training hadn’t prepared him for something like this. Was it even possible? Were there any precedents? How was he supposed to handle this situation? Cupids were supposed to trust their best judgement and stick to it, always keeping the best interests of their current target in mind, and choosing anyone else but what they considered to be the best option was a terrible fault. Then again, even if Rin could somehow, by some miracle of the universe, indeed choose himself in this case, what would he do after that? He couldn’t trick Haru into falling in love with him—he didn’t _want_ to. Even if that was exactly what his job description demanded, even if that was exactly what he had been training himself for during all of this time, he just couldn’t. He couldn’t bring himself to do it. The culminating point of his test, the moment he’d been waiting for for what seemed like forever, didn’t seem so appealing anymore. Rin still wanted to pass, but not at Haru’s expense.

(It was impossible, sure, but Rin couldn’t help but dream of Haru at his side, smiling at him with a “that’s great, Rin” on his lips when his dream finally came true.)

Had he jinxed himself in some way with his overconfidence? Had the higher-ups given him this task solely to show him that things weren’t always as easy as they seemed? No, no, that was unlikely. Difficult missions could be given out from time to time, yes, but impossible ones? Not so much. Rin wasn’t alive but he was pretty certain that his chest really, really hurt at the moment, because the myriad of choices he had initially thought he would have had been suddenly reduced to one of two awfully painful paths that he was equally reluctant to take.

One, to continue his unwilling search and eventually pick someone for Haru—someone that couldn’t be him.

Two, to forfeit his final test and go back home—leaving both his dream and Haru behind.

Rin wished there was a hidden third choice somewhere, but try as he might, he couldn’t find it.

 

Rin returned to Haru’s with a heavy heart, a decision having formed in the back of his mind, but still unsure of how he should go about it. He couldn’t reveal the exact nature of his task to Haru, but as long as he chose his words wisely he might be able to give him some sort of explanation for his actions.

What Rin didn’t expect was for Haru to be waiting for him, looking absolutely seething and ready to grab him (oh, if only he could), to call him names and force him to do all the housework in his place as compensation (if only Rin could).

“Don’t leave like that again,” was all he said instead, his eyebrows drawn together and his eyes glimmering with a fierceness that reminded Rin of some of the most fearsome warriors back home. He was glad that Haru couldn’t see him, because the expression that crossed over his face upon hearing those words wasn’t one that he wanted to share with him, ever.

But Haru seemed made to make Rin’s life more difficult, because he picked up on the sudden grimace even before it had fully finished forming.

“I can’t do it,” Rin mumbled quietly in response, and just the emotion behind his words was enough to make Haru’s blue eyes widen right on cue. Rin didn’t want to see any of it right now, and it made the lump in his throat heavier, his carefully worded explanation disappearing in a blur. “I—” Haru took a tentative step towards him, and Rin simply turned away from him, and fled.

Rin flew away as fast as his wings would take him, as far from Haru’s house as he could, just so he could collect himself and his emotions and then leave as soon as possible. He’d failed at his task and he’d failed at explaining, and now he was probably going to leave Haru with an even bigger wound in his heart than when Rin had first crashed into him. Maybe if he’d picked a different path from the start, like he’d been suggested to, he probably wouldn’t be faced with this predicament at the moment. But Rin had made his decision, and he couldn’t go back on it—he couldn’t lie to his feelings. He couldn’t tie Haru’s life with someone else’s unless he truly believed in that choice. And since that was something he’d already realized and accepted that he wouldn’t be able to do, the only option he had left was to leave.

After finding his way to a secluded cliff overlooking the ocean, Rin let himself have a good cry.

It was for the best. If he explained the strange situation, the difficulties he had faced, the unexpected talents of his target and the sudden feeling of closeness that had originated as a result, perhaps his evaluation would be reconsidered. Perhaps he would be given a second chance. It wasn’t over, it didn’t have to be.

What Rin hadn’t factored in was that Haru was indeed an extremely, annoyingly, stubborn human being.

“Rin!” was the cry he heard first, thinking perhaps he was imagining things. But when it happened again, and again, and again, each one louder and more charged that the previous one, Rin had to stand up straight and rub his eyes dry because, indeed, Haru had ran all the way after him.

“Go away!” Rin yelled, stepping back to put some distance between them as Haru finally emerged from the narrow mountain path, smudged with dirt and with his hands and knees slightly scrapped red.

“I told you not to leave again,” Haru argued back with just as much conviction, panting heavily and rubbing the sweat off his forehead with his dirty hands.

“I have to!” Rin whined, moving back far enough so that there was no solid ground beneath his feet, huffing and floating over the ocean as if to make a point.

_We’re different. I can’t stay with you._

(Though it’s not like he didn’t want to.)

That only made Haru frown harder, stepping a little closer, still intent on chasing after him. Rin was about to protest when Haru cut him off, still breathing heavily and looking awful all covered in dirt, his feet glued to the edge of the cliff.

“Rin,” he called again, reaching out a little more firmly. “You were the one who said we’d swim together one day, right?”

Rin gulped, panicking slightly, and tried to keep his feelings at bay. He had to resist the urge to try and push Haru a bit further back. It was impossible, or at least it should be, but at the moment Rin was actually afraid that, if he got close enough, Haru might actually be able to catch him for real.

He just hoped Haru wasn’t stupid enough to _try_.

“Haru, don’t—”

“Red.”

Rin blinked, staring at Haru like he’d suddenly grown a third head.

“Huh?”

Haru continued to stand in front of him, unmoving, his little hands clenched and a determined frown on his face.

“… The person I like is really red.”

Time seemed to stop around them.

_What—_

_…_ _what?_

Rin’s lips trembled, and his eyes were blinking rapidly, trying to keep them from watering up. Haru had gone silent, staring at his feet, then staring back towards the mountain path, before finally looking back up at Rin again, his expression as solid as usual. Rin was really jealous of it.

“… who,” Rin muttered, his voice shaking slightly, “who is—”

“Grandma said not to tell,” Haru said quickly, startling him, and sending his heart into another cartwheel of emotions—frustration, sadness—“It’s your job to find out, anyway.”

—hope?

Haru extended his hand to him, with eyes that read an “are you coming or not” against his completely impassive face. Rin stared at him, stared at his outstretched hand, and wavered slightly.

A third option.

What were another few decades of waiting to an angel, after all?

Haru had made his choice.

And Rin was glad to find out that his hand was actually just as warm as he’d imagined.

 

* * *

 

“Sorry for ruining your test,” Haru mumbled sleepily, eyes closed, his head resting on Rin’s lap. There were much more comfortable places for an afternoon nap out there, but Haru had gotten used to doing that without warning lately. Rin snorted.

“You didn’t,” he smiled, picking out a cherry blossom petal from Haru’s hair. His bangs had gotten longer again. Haru would probably have to trim them soon. “That was years ago. You really should let it go already.” He also really needed to stop hanging out under trees like that. He was going to end up scaring someone up really badly one day. Rin talked from experience. “Sorry for ruining your life.”

Haru’s eyes opened slowly, the gleam that Rin loved so much unchanged even after all these years, still as bright and hypnotic as the first time they’d met. He wordlessly raised a hand, slowly, fingertips gently caressing Rin’s cheek.

“You didn’t.”

Rin smiled.

He’d never fired that arrow in the end. But he hadn’t really needed to.

Haru had chosen him, after all.


End file.
